Lesson #1

I’ve been married for almost 9 months now.

Prior to our wedding, we were already living together, we had travelled together and we had a joint account to pay our bills. Besides getting the government involved in our relationship, I didn’t think much would change after getting married.

I was wrong.

Marriage is NOT just a piece of paper.

That piece of paper means something important.

The title to your residence or vehicle.

The framed degree displayed in your office.

The cash in your wallet.

All that paper holds significant weight.

I wouldn’t hand out cash, my hard-earned certifications or the title to my property with all my personal information on it to just any Tom, Dick or Harry. Hell, I wouldn’t even hand that over to family or close friends.

Why would I? What business do they have with what rightfully belongs to ME?

The same rings true for my marriage.

The inner workings of my marriage stay on the inside. Our goals and future plans stay hush hush. Any problems that arise get sorted in private.

Basically, the door is closed to anyone and anything outside of my marriage: best friends, family, neighbours, co-workers, church elders - EVERYONE.

A genuinely happy, healthy and impactful relationship is what most of society is lacking. People work towards the wedding, house and kids – the surface level stuff. But character development, problem solving and emotional intelligence are often pushed to the wayside. This results in marriages being built on weak and shaky foundations. So it really isn’t surprising when they collapse and crumble to rubble somewhere along the way.

When these same surface level people see you thriving in a collaborative and prosperous marriage, it awakens jealousy, envy and hatred in them because they want something they are not prepared to work for. And instead of examining themselves and processing their feelings of ill intent, they project their negativity onto you in hopes that your foundation will easily dissolve and you will end up in the same predicament as them.

It’s important to practice discernment and set strong boundaries around such people.

The one thing I have learned within this first year of marriage: it is incredibly valuable so treat it accordingly.

Matthew 7:6 “Do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them underfoot and turn and attack you.”