Forgiveness

Be the bigger person.

Turn the other cheek.

Learn to accept the apology you never received.

Just let it go.

This is what society, culture and religion has taught us about forgiveness.

It’s always about sucking it up and letting the other person get away with their bad behaviour.

And it’s bullshit.

The problem with this concept of forgiveness is that the victim never really gets to truly heal. They are just expected to sweep everything under the rug and forget about it or else they somehow become the villain in the situation.

This is why so many people go through life feeling so bitter and resentful.

Here is what I have learned about forgiveness: it has nothing to do with the other person.

Forgiveness is all about YOU.

Sound selfish?

Good.

This is your reward for dealing with the other person’s clownery.

Let’s get back to it.

What does the Bible say about forgiveness?

In Ephesians 4:32, it says: "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as God forgave you."

Sounds like turning the other cheek and letting the other person get away with it, right?

Right.

Now let’s backtrack a little bit.

Ephesians 4:31 says: "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice."

This right here.

This is the cheat code to forgiveness.

Forgiveness means to cleanse your spirit of all bitterness, rage and anger that you feel towards the person who wronged you.

Forgiveness means to remove from your life any conflict, negativity and retaliation against the other person.

Forgiveness means to eradicate hate from your heart.

This is how it becomes about you.

Listen, there is no way to know if someone will ever:

1) own up to their evil ways;

2) take responsibility for how their toxicity has negatively impacted you or;

3) apologize for contaminating your life with their foolishness to begin with.

BUT if you continue to hold on to all of the negative emotions that another person has evoked in you due to their actions, you only end up hurting yourself.

Now this doesn’t mean you have let them off the hook, it just means that you have chosen to keep your spirit clean. By doing this, you make room for compassion, kindness and ultimately, peace for YOURSELF.

And the other person?

Remember that the scales ALWAYS balance and justice is ALWAYS served.